Hello. I’m Eve Bandler, Matthew’s mom. Matthew went to TBS preschool and kindergarten, Kellman, Cherry Hill East, and Rutgers. In the summer after Matthew’s freshman year, while a JCC camp counselor, we found ourselves at CHOP, with two oncologists telling us that Matthew had a rare pediatric cancer, for which there’s no known cure. But they would do their best. They showed us images of his body. My boy’s body was riddled with cancer. 

A year earlier, Matthew needed my permission to play volleyball at East. Yet no one asked my permission for this. A dreadful year later, we were at Platt’s, selecting Matthew’s casket.  

Losing a child is more horrific than one can dare to imagine. So, it’s also a lonely place. There were weeks in which I sat in a chair, unable to move, speak or eat. Or I’d drive to a secluded spot, park and scream. Life became an endurance test.  

I called every synagogue in the area, hoping one had a support group for bereaved parents. Nothing. I went to secular groups, inevitably dominated by Christian women, rituals and beliefs. I left those feeling more alone.  

Then I was introduced to Carole, Jamie’s mom. She and I agreed to finance an eight-week support group, JFCS advertised it, and a full group signed-up.

The support group changed everything. I knew it the moment I entered the room. There was a group of equally broken and traumatized Jewish women in the room, including Susan. Plus, a Jewish facilitator. I was home. And I was no longer alone.

Together, Susan, Carole and I created a Foundation, fundraised, and with JFCS, created this program. Since then, there have been eight groups and more than 65 people served. Now, no one in our community is forced to endure this nightmare alone.

Thanks to all of you, the support groups continue to this day.